Balance

The past week has been hard for me. Relationally there were some hard interactions - all most likely necessary, and hard nonetheless. Today I am struck yet again with this struggle - how do I balance finding my identity as Beloved by Trinity with the desire to connect truly and deeply with those around me? Certainly there's an understanding that connecting truly and deeply with those around me is an expression of Trinity and and works only when grounded in belovedness. At the same time when looking back on my swirl(s) when connection is seemingly lost or diminished there's the reality that I'm not living from belovedness. I guess the point of this rambling is - Can belovedness be understood outside of community? Can belovedness be understood outside of relationship? This tension is real to me in this moment.

ps - Today in the office I'm hearing the music that my old job had as hold music...good music, and I feel like I'm eternally on hold.