Praise the Jesus

I was right! It was the symptoms of PMS that sent me to the edge of reason yesterday. Now - I'm not denying that there's something driving some sadness in my soul - and I don't think that's what put me on the verge of tears over a scone yesterday.

Thsi week I've been talking to Trinity via a breath prayer - a prayer that comes easily and regularly - it feels to me like a spiritual practice. I laugh at myself a little each time because the prayer that comes most easily is Jenny's prayer from Forest Gump - "Dear God, make me a bird, so I can fly far, far away from here." And yet - Trinity knows that I'm not asking for an escape hatch, instead I'm asking for more intense ways of surrender. Sometimes I wonder if this (or any) prayer simply works to calm me down - yet in this moment I choose to believe that Trinity is up there laughing with me and saying "finally, finally this girl is asking for what we have to give."

Additionally - Natasha Bedingfield's song Unwritten has had a ton of meaning for my current place on the journey. Especially the part that says:

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inner visions
Feel the rain on your skin

The key it feels in this moment is to release my inner vision - for me that means to release and surrender my vision of what life, specifically my life, was, is and will be. It's not up to me - and that's a relief!!