Yesterday was a hard day - I have good ones and hard ones lately. However - I'm hopeful that I hit a turning point yesterday when the flood hit. I hadn't cried over this last month of loss and stress until yesterday afternoon. Although I was tempted to believe it was because I was growing and getting better at dealing with stress and the punches - but I knew better than that.
I cried, I screamed, I yelled, I pity partied, I wondered what my neighbors were thinking, and after an hour and a half of letting it out I was exhausted. I believe that it was an important part of the healing process - I felt much better this morning, and I have more energy to move forward and make things work without feeling trapped.
The screaming and yelling was something I don't typically do - I normally just cry. It's been suggested to me that yelling and screaming, in essence speaking what I'm really angry about, who I'm really angry at, is healthy practice. I was a bit skeptical, and, it worked. Then this morning I had a dream about the very person who suggested it to me. Coincidence - i think not.
Friday, August 31, 2007
The Flood
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4 comments:
My hope for you is that if you are angry/upset with someone, you could approach them about. Perhaps they don't know what they've done to hurt you and probably would apologize if they did know. -- AC
I would - in this specific case, I've already expressed my anger and the object doesn't care and quite frankly most of my anger isn't directed toward a person. It's directed toward God. Not real easy to talk to him about it.
It is by far easier to talk to God than any human because in James Chapter 1 God promises us wisdom without finding fault. No human I know can give us wisdom and we all can and sometimes do give unloving and unwanted advice. Praise God for unconditional love and that's how we love you too. Praying daily that God will make your journey clear one step at a time.
Much love, Gma G
I LOVE that you had a cry/angry fest at your apartment! Wish I could've been there with you, but those are moments that you need to have to yourself and just let it rip! I'm so proud of you. As you said, hopefully this is the turning point and let the healing begin :) Here's to not being thrown off by little shit that happens...
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