Bewildered

I don't fit in at the company I work for. Most of the time I think it's okay - it makes sense to me that I don't have a lot in common with the people I work for/with, and I'm more than fine keeping things on a professional and not a personal level. However the other two women on the team I work with are best buddies - they are always going out together, talk about personal stuff over the cubicle wall, and in turn end up working on a lot of projects together. Today (and a lot of days quite honestly) this is putting me into a crazy anger. It's not that I want to be buddies with them, I don't. Rather, it's that I'm tired of being the outsider. Every time they whisper, or walk outside to have a chat, or start talking about something personal I want to scream.

It's weird - I don't want to be friends with them. And yet, when they act like friends act I get so angry. Part of what I don't like is this unspoken idea that to work well as a team we have to be friends outside of work. I don't think that's true - and so I don't understand why I have to be friends to be included in the work team. And of course I don't like being disliked. Yes - I'm probably thinking about this too much, and at the same time it's being thrust in my face just by being at my computer working. Gah!