Long Day

This day has seemed like it's incredibly long. Like it's three days instead of one. Perhaps that's what happens when you don't sleep well.

Last night at class I was struck with two things:

1. I am still living from the lie that I'm not lovable, or perhaps desirable is a better word. Tied in with that is the understanding that I'm not yet living from my identity as a beloved daughter of the Trinity. (I'm hit with this on a daily basis recently, the moment for yesterday just happened to be in class.)
   
2. Perhaps the "graspy Maria," as I like to call her, is alright. Is it possible that the Maria that desires community and intimacy of all kinds is the next version of me? The version of me that the Trinity is drawing me into? Perhaps she's not graspy at all, but is in fact just exactly the best version of myself that I can be at this moment. I've been trying to push her away, but it's my hope that at least for a while I can strive to be the best version of "graspy Maria" that I can be and in doing so take the shame out of being graspy.

This morning in a meeting I was struck with one more thing:

• I think I have a hole in my chin. This time around it was tea, not coffee. However I did manage to land some of it on my shirt. For the love! Will it never end?

Have a great weekend everyone!