Gimme a Break

I would like a kit-kat but they're 75cents in the snack machine here and there's no way I'm paying that to the man for a snack.

That said - I've been working on a data project since Friday. (When I'm not talking with my new boss.) I'm not going to be able to finish this week and I asked if I could set it aside to be able to get some other work done. Apparently that's not the best course of action - although I'm more motivated right now by my bonus than I am by the boss that's not going to be here on Monday. I'll work on it for the rest of today, and then after that I just may put it off until Monday. It is numbing my mind - and when it's not doing that it leaves my mind completely free to start thinking about other stuff. Which isn't good because then I get myself worked up about stuff - usually unnecessarily.

For example, every time I have a new pain or illness that lasts more than a day or so I end up having myself convinced I have cancer. And - I know I bruise easily, but I read somewhere once that a lot of bruises is a warning sign for leukemia, so a bunch of bruises sometimes gets me in a tizzy. Or when a company meeting is called out of the blue (as it was this week) my mind starts going in about 77 directions about what we could possibly need to talk about. (That one's not so crazy because there's truth in about 60 of those ideas...)

And yet - I'm often so impulsive and I tend to think of myself as fairly laid back.. I have no idea how these things work together - today, in my data induced insanity they seem to contradict themselves. Or maybe I'm wrong about being impulsive and laid back. Fairly laid back. Ah well - back to the data, and the insanity!

Absolutely

I used to say fabulous all the time. I probably still say it more than the average person, just not as often as I once did. Now I find myself saying absolutely all the time. I've slowly been coming to this realization and this afternoon during a small training session I could not believe how many times I caught myself replying "absolutely".

Done, Done I'm Done

So I've been trying to stick it out at my job for a few more months in an attempt to have a job in Denver that lasted more than 8 months. In the past week, however, the true colors of the management at my company has shown through even stronger than it has in the time I've been here and I'm done working for the man. Or perhaps more accurately - these men. I'm not quitting, I'm not overtly trying to get fired, I'm just stepping up the job search.

The last week has been otherwise good. My family was in town and it was great to be able to spend some time with them. We were able to watch the Rockies beat the Yankees in Coors Field, did a teeny bit of hiking, did some touristy stuff, and played a lot of games. Good times, good times.

Now it's back to the grind - a grind I'm up for changing, so we'll see what happens. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted :)

Found: Desk

I finally found a desk last week and Luke helped me bring it home yesterday. It looks much like this one, only not quite in such great condition:

It looks a lot better in my house than it did in the dingy back of a thrift store and I'm sure it's happy to have a nicer, if much smaller, home. It has a lot of drawers, so it felt good to hide some stuff this weekend and have my house feel more organized.

My family has arrived in the great state of Colorado! So - you probably won't be hearing from me for a few days. Instead read my friend Bonnie's blog n' blessings. I'm sure you'll find it entertaining!

Size Discrimination

Just because I only have a 3 foot wall to put a desk on should not mean that it's impossible for me to find a desk that I like. Should being the key word. I drove all over the burbs last night trying desperately to find something - and to no avail. I'll admit that there's a genuine possibility I'm being too picky. However, I have a studio apartment. It's tiny. And I don't want to have to look at a desk I don't really like day in and day out. Is that too much to ask?

So - here's what I'm looking for Denver metro area: A small desk made of dark wood (or laminate - not picky there) that will fit in a 3 foot by 1.5 foot space that is not a contemporary computer desk. Preferably used and not too expensive. If I don't find something tonight I may just hold out and order this desk even though it's a bit more than I want to spend:

Oh the Distraction

I have absolutely no desire to work this week. My family is coming into town next week so I really want to spend my time doing much more important, although not necessarily much more enjoyable, things. Things like:

• Finish the painting in my apartment (done!)
• Hang stuff on the walls
• Find a desk for the computer they're bringing
• Beg for Oberon
• Cleaning
• Laundry (done!)
• Sit out in the sun
• Get directions to all the places they want to go
• Go to a pool

Um - yeah, anything but work.

Monday - Really?

I swear to all things good and beautiful that Monday mornings are hard. Not in the way that driving is hard - really damn hard. Next Monday my family is coming - how exciting is that! Let's hope that makes Monday easier - at least for one week.

On Transitions

tran·si·tion [tran-zish-uhn, -sish-] –noun
1. movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change: the transition from adolescence to adulthood.
2. Music.
a. a passing from one key to another; modulation.
b. a brief modulation; a modulation used in passing.
c. a sudden, unprepared modulation.
3. a passage from one scene to another by sound effects, music, etc., as in a television program, theatrical production, or the like. –verb (used without object)
4. to make a transition: He had difficulty transitioning from enlisted man to officer.

I've been in transition for about a month now - it began with the prospect of the physical transition of moving, and is so much more than that. It's a transition from living with a roommate to living alone, from a big apartment to a small one, from one way of doing life to another.

I don't have patience for transition. I expect myself to adapt right away and get frustrated when it doesn't happen. For whatever reason yesterday I looked up the definition of transition, and the point about music struck me. Musical transition, modulation, key change - it's not the most pleasing sounding part of a piece, it's not the part you sit back and say ahh and yet, it's usually the most interesting part of piece of music. The part with the most theory to dissect and talk about, and the part where much of the time you see really what a composer is trying to communicate.

So for now I'm trying to have that type of attitude toward this transition. That it's not pretty or enjoyable, but it's a time to find my true motivations and get in touch with more reality. Hopefully that attitude will help me adapt more gracefully.

That's What She Said

I jumped on this bandwagon quite a bit later than my friends. However - playing the "that's what she said" game at the Cork House and the Elm on a Tuesday night = great fun :) That's what she said.

PS - I didn't get fired!

I'm A Two Faced Liar

Not because I want to. Because I'm being forced into it by the powers that be at my job and I'm not willing to do it any more. So I challenged it. And my boss and the big boss are in a closed door meeting - I think I may get fired. Time to start looking for temp jobs again.

Thank God for the Camera Phone

Cause without the camera phone how'd they have the idea for the big camera? Thanks to vbt for the pics :)

I Need a Hobby

Any suggestions?

Seriously, Make Up Your Mind

I am so angry. I worked on a project for another employee at my office yesterday because my boss asked me to. It was ridiculous and I told him that I didn't think the time I would need to spend on the project would be worth the results. He told me to do it anyway. It took me the entire day - working on another person's computer, with a program that crashed every 5 minutes. (That's not an exaggeration.) I finished around 3:45, my boss and this other employee were in a meeting, so at 4:30 I left and went home for the day.

This morning they tell me that the reformatting I did - they're not going to use it. I asked on multiple occasions how much time my boss wanted me to spend on this, each time he told me to keep working. I am angry on so many levels.

1 - This has nothing to do with me and my job.
2 - This employee consistently treats me like his secretary even though I am no such thing.
3 - I am the only person in my department who gets pulled to do this shit.
4 - This shit is not part of my performance goals, so I consistently don't make them.
5 - No one will listen to my side of the story.

Gah! I can not wait to get out of this hell hole today.