Not the News I Wanted

Well the phone call is over - and it was NOT what I wanted to hear. Damn. It's amazing how much hope of the possibility of change affects me. Now I feel stuck again - awesome.

Remember That Phone Call?

It's going to happen tomorrow (Friday) morning! I'm nervous and excited all at the same time. I promise sometime I'll be less vague about this and at that point you'll probably wish you never asked! Until then feel free to make your own guesses about what may be happening.

A Book Non-Review

I'm in the middle of reading this book - The Question of God - and so far I am loving it. I haven't loved a book in quite a while, so it feels pretty good.

One of the things that bothers me the most is when people answer my questions by saying "that's the way we've always done it" or "that's the way it's always been done." There's got to be a reason that the first person who did it that way chose. A good example is Sheralee's story of the woman who cut of both ends of a roast before she put it in the pan to cook it. When asked why she answered that it was the way her mother did it. Someone asked the woman's mother why she did it that way and she said that was the way her mother did it. Someone asked the woman's grandmother why she did it that way and she said that the pan she had was too small to fit a full roast and she couldn't afford a new pan so she cut off the ends. The woman had a large pan, but still cut of the ends of the roast without thinking about it.

I haven't posted much about my inner journey lately - it's been busy and intense and I've been questioning most everything I've believed to this day in my life. I am loving this book because it attempts to lay out why two revered historical figures believed the things they did. Both men seem to have chosen paths that were understandable and thoughtful. It's like reading a discussion that had it really happened would have been monumental. Truly interesting if you ask me.

Bewildered

I don't fit in at the company I work for. Most of the time I think it's okay - it makes sense to me that I don't have a lot in common with the people I work for/with, and I'm more than fine keeping things on a professional and not a personal level. However the other two women on the team I work with are best buddies - they are always going out together, talk about personal stuff over the cubicle wall, and in turn end up working on a lot of projects together. Today (and a lot of days quite honestly) this is putting me into a crazy anger. It's not that I want to be buddies with them, I don't. Rather, it's that I'm tired of being the outsider. Every time they whisper, or walk outside to have a chat, or start talking about something personal I want to scream.

It's weird - I don't want to be friends with them. And yet, when they act like friends act I get so angry. Part of what I don't like is this unspoken idea that to work well as a team we have to be friends outside of work. I don't think that's true - and so I don't understand why I have to be friends to be included in the work team. And of course I don't like being disliked. Yes - I'm probably thinking about this too much, and at the same time it's being thrust in my face just by being at my computer working. Gah!

Say Hello to What's His Name

I have a new roommate - a sweet cat with no name as of yet. I don't like the name he had at the Dumb Friends League (Chico) and right now I have narrowed the name choices down to Stanley Stucco and Calvin Cab. Harvey was in the running, but I just don't think he's a Harvey. The middle names have significance because of the traumatic afternoon Sheralee, the cat and I shared yesterday.

We brought him home yesterday afternoon (this one and only picture I have is from in the car) and he of course ran into hiding right away because he's scared. The spot he chose was in my cabinets and I really didn't want him in there. In trying to coax him out I scared him deeper into the cabinet - except that the only place to go was into this tiny 4" space between the back of the cabinet and the wall. And he got stuck. I was freaking out, Sheralee was freaking out, the cat was freaking out. We called everyone we knew in Denver between the two of us, thinking we might have to cut out the back of the cabinet. We even called 911 and they told us to call 311 for animal control. Animal control couldn't come out, for some understandable reasons, so we ended up leaving him alone for a bit to see if he might find his own way out. And he did - what a smart cat. So Stucco for getting stuck and Cab for cabinet.

He did explore the apartment some during the night and even ate some food - so I think he's going to be just fine, it will take a little while though! It took me most of the rest of the afternoon to calm down!

In other news - I have not yet gotten this phone call or email I am so desperately waiting for. I promise when the time is right I'll post everything!

This One's For my Denver Friends

I have blatantly stolen this post from TFG. It describes the way I was raised to a 't' and in my world is hysterically funny. For those of you who don't know me personally or who I've only known after moving out of Michigan - this is a look at the way I grew up. For the rest of you, please laugh a little at your own expense - it's worth it, I promise. (And I can say that because I'm laughing at my own expense.)

You might be a Dutch Calvinist if...
- You finish the food on your plate in a restaurant even though it is burnt or otherwise unsuitable for human consumption.
- You reused plastic margarine containers long before anyone heard of the environmental movement.
- You have a two-volume address book. Volume I: A-U Volume II: V-Z.
- You have never skipped church to watch the Superbowl.
- Your main contribution in increased gender equality was to switch from KING to Wilhelmina brand peppermints.
- Your range of restaurant choice is restricted to the contents of a "Buy One Meal, Get One Free" coupon book that you bought to support missionaries in Sierra Leone.
- You wipe the last of the butter out of the container with your roll.
- Your mother's hairdo is the same at your wedding as it was at hers.
- Your closet is divided into work clothes and Sunday clothes.
- If you have several coupons that are good for "one customer only", you will send all 10 members of your family through different aisles at the grocery store so you can get 10X the bargains.
- Your church attendance record is not interrupted by childbirth.
- Your Sunday routine resembles this: Church, coffee, roast beef, green beans, a nap, and Church.
- You have a front room but never sit in it.
- You make the bed in a hotel room.
- The last tip you left in a restaurant was "Don't wear so much makeup" and "A little quicker with the coffee."
- You have always been to church on New Years Eve.
- You can sing "eere zij God" even though you can't speak Dutch.
- You think that being progressive means discarding the Psalter Hymnal in favor of the Steve Green songs on the overhead.
- Seeing hands in the air during worship causes you to look around for a stickup man.
- You are still trying to justify owning a dishwasher.
- On summer vacation you couldn't swim, only wading up to your knees was allowed.
- At your wedding, everyone was swaying, but no one was dancing.
- You have attended worship services at a campground amphitheater.
- You know what an afghan is.
- You have lace on your windows, but not on your underwear.
- Your two permanent Saturday jobs are to wash the car and make sure you have enough single bills for the offering plate.
- All of your recipes are adapted to fit into a 9X13 pan.
- You can't imagine a funeral reception without ham on buns.
- The Usher never has to ask you where you want to sit.

Nothing Yet

Not a damn thing! And I am running out of patience, hope, and sanity.