One Unpredictable Year

One year ago today Sheralee and I left our hotel room in Omaha, Nebraska for the second day of cross country driving and ended our trip here in Denver. I remember in the weeks after arriving some friends telling me that in a year I probably wouldn't recognize the person I'd become. And I think that's true - although not exactly in the way they or I understood. The past year has been the hardest I can remember and the things that have happened could not have been anticipated by anyone. And yet as I sit here thinking back this morning I don't think I would have made a different choice had I known the struggles of the past year. It would have been a much harder decision certainly - and one I'm not positive I would have changed.

So in a New Years of sorts here are some toasts to the next year:
Here's to increasing amounts of freedom
Here's to more nights on the porch
Here's to finding Jesus
Here's to more depth of friendship
Here's to Love
Here's to a job that lasts more than 6 months
Here's to life

Breaking My Rules

Well I'm breaking my own rules of life by posting on the blog while at work. I'm here all by myself today and it's so damn hard to concentrate and be motivated since I don't really like what I do. It scares me a bit because I've been looking at a few other jobs with a small staff and I wonder if it's me that's lazy or if I really could get some work done on my own. And I've come to the conclusion that it's probably a bit of both. That with the right motivation I could get some work done in a small office - and I currently don't have that fire lit under me.

I also wish that I had a camera with me here today. From our offices the mountains actually look purple! I've never seen them like this before and it is beautiful!

Everything you think about sales people is TRUE

Today was awful. Not a total loss - I had a fun dinner with Meghan - but awful nonetheless. The National Sales Manger has been in town for the past two days to help me learn how to be a better sales person. And my feeling that I didn't want to learn the things he wanted to teach me was right on! Turns out this guy gets excited about sales - I always thought sales was something you do until you find a job where you don't have to kiss someone else's ass 100% of the time to be successful. Plus - he wants to teach me how to con. How to pretend to be someone I'm not and promise things I don't have in order to get in the door. Seriously I sat in on a couple of phone calls he was making today where I don't think there was an ounce of truth in what he was saying. Well there was an ounce - he didn't lie about his name at any point in time. I was just getting more upset and more upset because I sooo will not lie. In fact most of the things he was trying to show me how to do I won't do. And if that gets me fired, that gets me fired.

Thankfully after he left I had a quick discussion with a coworker about it - and he felt the same way I did. So tomorrow I talk with my boss about it and we'll see where we go from there.

Oh - and one more thing - after he got some business for the company he told me "there's no way you could have gotten that listing, I needed my years of experience to know the right questions to ask and to feel him out." I'm not joking when I say that it took a lot of willpower to not physically hurt him at that point. It was after a couple of days of hearing about how fantastic he is and how long he's been with the company and how good he is at sweet talking receptionists. Arrrrrrrrrgh! (yup I'm a pirate) I want a new job soo bad! Hopefully I'll have something to report on that soon.

989 - A Summary

Well we're back from 989 and it was really quite fun. After missing a turn on the way up and taking a longer, alternate route through snow (yes falling snow on Sep't 8 less than an hour and a half from home) to get to the cabin we had a great time. We sat in the extremely chlorinated hot tub, and spent a little bit of time a the South Park Music Festival, watched a TON of football, grilled, sat outside a bit and relaxed. Hopefully I'll have some pictures to post soon.

This weekend away however has left me in a strange place - unlike the last couple of weekend trips. I've been talking with a few people about how often what you see is a direct result of what you believe. Or in other words the way you interpret situations and actions and experiences is a direct result of what you believe about yourself and the people you're with - but mostly what you believe about yourself. And I was struck with the reality of that for myself in strange moments this weekend and it pissed me off. The things I believe about myself cause me to feel pain and hurt more than I need to. More than perhaps is real. And I would like to believe different things about me. I just don't know how to do that.

And in this moment I'm completely distracted by dreading work tomorrow. The president and a long time sales guy for the company are going to be in town. And as part of this I may have to cold call offices with the sales guy to learn techniques. And by cold call I mean show up with no appointment and try to talk to people to sell them our service. I'm a pretty good learner if I want to be, and this is a skill I do think I can live without. So here's to hoping the next two days go by quickly!

989

I'm so excited to go to the mountains this weekend! On the last trip Sheralee took for work she was in the town of South Park, CO - yes the TV show is named after this town - and saw an advertisement for a music festival this weekend. This led to her finding a cabin in the mountains asdlkjfwhere we're going to stay this weekend - there's a jacuzzi tub and a golf hole and wildlife and more and I'm just so glad to be getting out of town for the weekend. We went grocery shopping last night and tonight and are all set to go. Yay!

In other news - I interviewed for a job two weeks ago and have not heard a peep since I left the interview. I've left voicemails and emails and I have now officially given up. There's I'm sure some sort of reasonable explanation - but I don't want to hear it. I'm choosing to believe they're crazy people. Makes my life easier that way.

And since I haven't posted in a while and I'm sure you've missed it, here are some pictures of one of the cutest babies ever, Cheyenne:

I heart this dress from my Aunt Maria

Seriously, get this thing off my head

I've finally mastered smiling, and I LOVE it!

You don't want inside this mind

Ok - so there's been plenty going on here this week. The long weekend was so so much fun! Just so did not want to go back to work - let's hope that this short week goes quickly!

So it's funny. There's been plenty on my mind - as I've alluded to before and the last couple of days have helped me put words to what I've been thinking about. First I've been struck with the realization that in just two weeks I'll have been in Denver for 1 year. One year that was almost nothing like I thought it would be. One year in which I have learned so much, and one year later I still miss much of what and who I knew in Michigan. And one year that I'm actually quite thankful that I've experienced something else.

And the second thing I've been struck with - more than at any other time I can remember - is total distraction with dating. And the fact that I'm not. Not that I've ever made a conscious decision not to date - just that in the last couple of weeks it's been driving me crazy that I'm not. And the thing is, I'm not lonely per se. It's more that I think I'm living more than I ever have and that's a part of me that's alive, and yet not living. If that makes any sense.

So there's that. There's a small taste of what's been on my mind. At least the parts I can put words to.

Happy Holiday Weekend!

Hope you're enjoying the long weekend! I have been - and then again - it hasn't been all roses. Friday night started off rocky - was in a bad mood, not certain what it was all about and there are a couple of hunches. Then we drank up the rest of the Oberon here - inside since it was freezing and windy out.

Yesterday I woke up not feeling great - for a couple of reasons, which are kinda gross and I will not subject you to them here. Sheralee and I watched a really sappy movie on TBS - I cried dammit - and then we went to Flatirons to walk around. I wanted to return something which is why we went all the way out there and then the Charlotte Russe there was under construction! We also went to the taste of Colorado and heard Dennis DeYoung sing - he DID sing Mr. Robato among other things, but we did not hear him ask us to come sail away. Which is what we wanted - granted, we also left early because it was COLD and I still wasn't feeling great.

I think I got about 12 hours of sleep last night - praise the jesus! And I'm feeling a bit better physically this morning! On tap: more Taste of Colorado, relaxing at Vivian's pool and hot tub. And plenty of fun I'm sure! More to come later about what's been on my mind (which is a bunch of stuff) because it's certainly been affecting everything!